That 4 - Letter Word

That 4 - Letter Word

Once upon a time, the philosophy of affection was a fine subject for the man of concepts, like Erich Fromm or C. S. Lewis. In recent years, the subject has been relegated to self-assist, a style that many distrust for its propensity to suggest simple answers where there are none. Self-assist has its uses, however: it neatly undoes the facile concepts of left (we're energyless victims) and proper (we have now total company in our lives) alike, and it gives the calming reassurance that others out there are as messed up as you are.

Now comes the feminist cultural critic Bell Hooks with her new book of essays, ''All About Love,'' written in a didactic model that would merge moral philosophy with self-help. It's a warm affirmation that love is possible and an assault on the tradition of narcissism and selfishness. ''We yearn to end the lovelessness that's so pervasive in our society,'' she writes. ''This book tells us how you can return to love.''

Her greatest factors are easy ones. Neighborhood -- extended household, inventive or political collaboration, friendship -- is as necessary because the couple or the nuclear family; love is an art that includes work, not just the thrill of attraction; want could depend on phantasm, but love comes only by means of painful fact-telling; work and cash have replaced the values of affection and community, and this must be reversed.

In Hooks's view, link ladies have little hope of happiness in a brutal tradition in which they're blindsided because ''most men use psychological terrorism as a option to subordinate women,'' whom they keep round ''to take care of all their needs.'' Males are raised to be ''more involved about sexual performance and sexual satisfaction than whether or not they are capable of giving and receiving love.'' Many men ''will, at instances, choose to silence a accomplice with violence slightly than witness emotional vulnerability'' and ''typically flip away from real love and select relationships in which they can be emotionally withholding after they really feel like it however nonetheless obtain love from somebody else.'' Ladies are also afraid of intimacy however ''focus more on discovering a accomplice,'' regardless of quality. The result's ''a gendered arrangement in which males are more prone to get their emotional needs met while girls will be deprived. . . . Men are given an advantage that neatly coincides with the patriarchal insistence that they're superior and therefore better suited to rule others.'' Males have to be taught generosity and ''the enjoyment that comes from service.''

Hooks contends that she and her lengthy-term boyfriends were foiled by ''patriarchal thinking'' and sexist gender roles and by no means had a chance. She is correct that many women and men, homosexual and straight, nonetheless fall into traditional traps, however she doesn't spend a lot time on why some dive into them, nor does she consider that such will not be everybody's fate. She takes her experience, neatly elides her personal position in shaping it, universalizes and transliterates her frustrations into pop sociology.

Hooks's ideals for love, her ''new visions,'' sound good, however there's something sterile and summary about them. The inventive ways the mind has to console itself, the fact that relationships do not grant bliss and perfection, the important impossibility of satisfaction, how need can conquer the desire -- to Hooks, these are but cynical delusions that might be thrust aside in a brave new world ready ''to affirm mutual love between free ladies and free men.''

Her invocation of master rhetoricians like Martin Luther King Jr. and Thomas Merton throws into painful reduction the strange Pollyanna high quality of her prose; it is tough to imagine either of them beginning a paragraph, as she does, with ''Once I first began to talk publicly about my dysfunctional family, my mom was enraged.'' She ends the book as Sleeping Magnificence, awaiting ''the love that's promised'' and talking to angels reasonably than real people. Her book confirms fears about why jargon and prefabricated concepts, together with identity politics and self-assist, so typically flatten experience into cliché. Emotional waters run deep and wide. When one cannot navigate them, it is possible to take refuge in a shallow, sentimental idealism.

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شـرکت کوشاترابر فعـاليت خـود را در زميــنه حمـل و نقـل بيـن المــللي کـالا آغـاز نمـوده اسـت و بـا برخـورداري از تجـارب و امکـانات گسـترده در کليــه زمينـه هاي حمـل و نقـل ( زميـني – هـوائي – دريـائي – ريـلي ) بـا ارائـه سـرويس مطـمئن و سـريع توانسـته اسـت خــدمات شـاياني جهـت حمـل محمـولات صـادراتي و وارداتي و ترانـزيت توسـط کاميـون, کشـتي, هواپيـما و قطـار بـه صـورت دربسـت و ترکيـبي (گـروپاژ) و چنـدوجهي عرضـه نمـايد. ايـن شـرکت بـه عنـوان يکي از بزرگتـرين شـرکتهاي حمـل و نقـل بيـن المـللي ايراني ، بـه صـورت خصـوصي و صد در صد محـلي سـرمايه گـذاري شـده اسـت و بـه عنـوان يـکي از اعضـاي فعـال در زميـنه حمـل و نقـل در مجـامع بيـن المـللي و انجمــنهاي ايـراني : FIATA , ICC , IRU   انجمـن شــرکتهاي حمـل ونقـل بيـن المللي ايـران ، اتـاق بازرگـاني و انجـمن کشتيراني ايران مي باشد.